


Falling Once More

by CoverFireGoddess880 (orphan_account)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashback scene, Gladio is 48 Years Old, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Mentally De-Aged Noctis, Non-consensual sex, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Post-Endgame, Sex in Flashback, Written for a Trope that Took Place Way Too Long Ago, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 11:47:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/CoverFireGoddess880
Summary: Thin, slightly calloused fingers hesitantly caress Gladio’s aged scruff and he feels like he’s dreaming, letting his eyes close and his breath escape in a sigh. There’s realness here that he can feel, the sensation of soft warmth on his face reminding him of all the nights he’s only dreamt of this.This is what he wanted - but not like this.





	Falling Once More

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been wanting to write for a mentally de-aged trope for awhile, so I hope this came out good.
> 
> This is so sad. :'/

Thin, slightly calloused fingers hesitantly caress Gladio’s aged scruff and he feels like he’s dreaming, letting his eyes close and his breath escape in a sigh. There’s realness here that he can feel, the sensation of soft warmth on his face reminding him of all the nights he’s only dreamt of this.

 Like time has stopped, he doesn’t move for as long as those fingers, that touch, remain on him. Noctis’s hitching breath against his cheek as he gives him an unsteady kiss is better than the gift of a spring breeze after the bitter death of winter has passed.

 Gladio pauses mid-breath. Noctis’s fingers stop and drift from his face, and he steps away.

 The older man opens his eyes, and there, standing before the majesty of the Lucian throne amongst the rubble of a decade of destruction and abandonment, is Noctis. Gazing over the natural, naked beauty of his king and childhood friend, Gladio is unaware he’s almost stopped breathing.

 Noctis appears to be cowering slightly against the wall, cold and afraid of  _ life _ . The shield doesn’t have to wonder why, because the absolutely horrid black encompassing his sapphire orbs speak enough for Noctis that there are no words in need of surfacing.

 “Noct,” Gladio chokes out, stepping toward him with an outstretched hand. 

 But Noctis sinks down the wall further and vigorously shakes his head no, curling into a fetal position. “No...No, I…”

 He balls his fist and clenches - frustrated. “You stopped. Why?”

 “Because I… don’t know… you?”

 “But you do,” Gladio says, billowing tone echoing off the chamber walls. It tears his heart out to watch as Noctis looks around fearfully to search for the origin of that voice. “You know me, Noct, c’mon… It’s Gladio, remember? You remember - I told you.”

 Noctis turns away and buries his face in between his knees, beard scraping his bare flesh. “No one… knows me,” he murmurs, muffled by quiet sobs. “I’m lost… I don’t… understand…”

 Gladio kneels down beside him, but Noctis cowers further, whimpering as Gladio gently puts his hands on him. 

 Noctis is so very cold to the touch.

 “Stop it…” Noctis whines softly, pitifully, pulling away from Gladio as hard as he can. “Leave me, I-... I can’t…”

 Urgently, Gladio unbuttons his Kingsglaive coat and shrugs it off, draping it across Noctis’s shoulders. But it falls to the floor as Noctis suddenly screams and bolts from him only to land on his belly in tears. Gladio runs after him. “Noct! Noct, stop! Wait!”

 Clawing at the floor in a desperate attempt to get away, Noctis flails like a child in tantrum, panting as the tears roll down his cheeks. He’s out of breath and suffering from extreme internal pain, but in his mind, he needs to leave. Go. Find home. Home, where he can get help, and be safe and warm.

 Gladio bends down and grabs him up in his arms, just holding him until he stops crying or passes out. And from the way he falls limply, almost spilling out of Gladio’s embrace, it won’t be long till he tires himself out.

 After a few minutes, Noctis gives up and curls into Gladio’s chest, clutching his shirt for some comfort. Any that he could find in this strange world.

 Gladio leans down to his ear. “Noctis,” he whispers tenderly, kissing his head. “You  _ are _ home, my darling… Home with me - I love you. Don’t you remember?”

 But he doesn’t. And inside, it’s driving him insane. He’s struggling with himself, and Gladio can hear it in the tiny whimpers that leave his lips as he clings to him like a lost child. “No… no…”

 Gladio doesn’t what else to say as his jaw drops in silence. He’s angry and confused. Whatever foolish game the gods were playing on he and Noctis was just plain cruel, and if he had enough courage, he’d be cursing them out in all the languages he could think of.

 Except, this is what he’d wanted. Noctis was in his arms, alive. This is what he’d been praying, and begging, and pleading for for nearly fifteen years. Noctis’s death so long ago had taken its toll on the man, and at the age of 48, he was on the edge of breaking inside.

 Suicide - the simplest pleasure of the choice of death before him seemed the greatest idea he’d had in the longest time. But not now; not with his sweet king returned to him once more.

 Noctis still looks so young and beautiful, ripe at 30 and more gorgeous than a blossoming rose. Honestly, Gladio can’t think. He can’t return to his senses right now, this moment feeling like a stitch in time, one that most assuredly would disappear should he even entertain the prospect of letting go.

 But then… hadn’t he already let go years back when he was still in mourning?

 Noctis had passed, and so had Gladio’s soul.

 There was no reason to keep living. No purpose.

 This is what he wanted - but not like this.

 ■

**_15 Years Ago..._ **

_  “You know, Gladio,”  _ Noctis spoke after a moment of silence. Out here alone, their backs to the smouldering campfire. Before them lay the Crown City, and with it, their destiny.  _ “I don’t think there  _ **_is_ ** _ a reason to be afraid.” _

__ Gladio looks to him like he’s crazy.  _ “The hell you saying, Noct? ‘course there is! You’re going up there to die, right? I’m sure there’s some fear in that.” _

_  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared,”  _ Noctis laughs.  _ “What I mean, is that I know I’m gonna be… okay, y’know?” _

__ Gladio’s eyes won’t leave Noctis’s aging face, graced by the fine growth of a beard. So fitting for the king he is.  _ “So, death is okay for you? You don’t regret anything?” _

_  “No,”  _ Noctis shakes his head and takes Gladio’s hand.  _ “I still do have some regrets, Gladio, but I can’t dwell on them. It’s just… I hold so much of you guys in my heart already, that I don’t see any reason to hold on to something I can’t keep.” _

__ Gladio steps closer and leans over to nuzzle the back of Noctis’s neck, teeth grazing that soft flesh he’s bitten and kissed many times over.  _ “I regret something.” _

 Noctis turns his head slightly with downcast eyes and purses his lips, moaning softly as he squeezes Gladio’s hand.  _ “You do?” _

_  “Mm…” _

_  “What is it?” _

__ Other hand caressing Noctis’s hip, he pulls him in by his waist and wraps both arms around him, kissing along his throat.  _ “Not making love to you.” _

__ Noctis sways in his lover’s arms, leaning back against him.  _ “I almost forgot. We haven’t had sex in ten years, have we?” _

_  “Forgot, huh? Not much has changed about you, darlin’,”  _ Gladio sniggers, nuzzling his king’s soft hair.

 Noctis scoffs, but still trembles at Gladio’s caresses, just like he always had.  _ “Wouldn’t think you’d want much to change about me, love.” _

_  “The only thing I like that’s changed about you…”  _ He lifts Noctis’s scruffy chin between his fingers and kisses him sweetly, relishing the feel of Noctis. When he finally pulls away slowly, Noctis is smiling up at him.  _ “...is  _ **_you_ ** _. The beard’s a definite plus - real sexy, baby~” _

__ Noctis doesn’t respond, but acknowledges his silly remark by rubbing his cheek lovingly with the pad of his thumb. He grabs Gladio’s hand again and leads them down to a darker place away from camp so as not to wake Ignis and Prompto, who needed the rest just as much as Gladio did.

 But Noctis smirks with that bittersweet flutter in his gut when he considers  Gladio to be the exception tonight, of all nights.

 This is their last chance, and he knows they both wouldn’t pass this up for the world.

_ “Is down here fine… with you?”  _ Noctis asks with the hesitation he’d forgone mere seconds ago. He doesn’t know if it’s because of his nerves for his impending fate, or the unavoidable fact that he hasn’t seen Gladio in ten years.

 To some, that may not be very long, but to someone whose entire decade was cut short by a choice not of his own free will, it’s like an eternity. He’ll never get those years back, those chances to live among his friends, his family.

 Sure, he has memories, but how often can you revisit them when you’ve got so much to look after, and you live by the ticking hands of time? How fondly can he recount those moments of living in joy, when all it leads up to is the pain of suffering in loneliness?

 Noctis was silenced for ten long years, locked away like some prize to be kept until the final bell. And now that he was here, he wasn’t going to waste any time.

 He wasn’t going to lose all that he had gained… and loved since he began life on this earth.

_ “As long as we can be as loud as we want, s’fine with me, Noct,”  _ Gladio answers respectfully.

 Noctis smiles at him, but in the eerie, greenish light of the Darkness, Gladio thinks it looks a bit haunting as his lover kneels on the grass. Their hands are still locked, and before Gladio can initiate intimacy, kneeling behind him with a hand on his shoulder, Noctis inhales sharply and causes him concern.

_ “Noct? What’s wrong?” _

__ Noctis searches those warm eyes of his shield.  _ “How long can we stay here?” _

 That quiet voice is one Gladio has heard only when Noctis has felt truly afraid. He only knows this because Noctis had always trusted him enough to tell him everything. 

 Gladio shrugs with a sheepish grin, sympathetic of his fear.  _ “You know I don’t have the answer to that, Noct.”  _ Just a moment of silence between them as he watches Noctis gaze around at the shadowy landscape.

 Their hands are still entwined.

_ “Your hand… It has so many scars.” _

 Gladio feels Noctis’s fingers clench around his as he turns it over and over. He looks as if he’s admiring Gladio’s scars, while Gladio is only staring at him.  _ “Earned ‘em all for you.” _

__ His blue eyes flit a return to copper.  _ “For me? ...All of them?” _

__ Suddenly, he starts to unbutton his Kingsglaive jacket, never leaving Noctis’s gaze.  _ “I wanna show you all of them.” _

__ Noctis turns and sits back on his heels, watching Gladio as he undresses, a slight twist of pain in his features.  _ “Gladio?” _

__ He holds up his hand, shrugs off his coat, and grips the zipper on his shirt. Noctis opens his mouth to speak, but Gladio’s already unzipped halfway down and puffing out his chest purposefully as his shirt falls off his body.

 A small gasp leaves Noctis’s lips. Gladio hasn’t bore himself to him in ten years, and Six… is he even more gorgeous than he was back then. He’s swooning inside as Gladio slowly rolls his shoulders and neck, the head of his eagle tattoo ever protective of its master.

_ “You…”  _ Noctis murmurs, eyes roaming over every knick, scar, and cut that have lined Gladio’s body like badges of honor. He must treat them as such, if they were earned for Noctis.  _ “Why did you do this?” _

__ Gladio knows better than to take offense to that. Noctis is still confused and unsure, and it’s more than alright. He crawls closer and kneels in front of Noctis, hands reaching for and unclasping Noctis’s cape.

 It’s becoming harder and harder for Noctis to breathe as his heart pounds in anticipation of Gladio’s next movement. When Gladio begins to slip Noctis’s jacket off of his arms, he sits still as he’s lost all desire to move from Gladio’s touches.

 His jacket lands to the ground, and the next thing Noctis feels is that of Gladio unbuttoning his collared shirt. After every tantalizing button pop, Gladio hears Noctis gasp. It makes him smile, like a man whose bride is still a virgin.

 And then he’s bare to Gladio from his throat to his belly, and all he can do is stare at him.  _ “Gladio?” _

__ Gladio leans in without another word, palm firmly on Noctis’s chest as he pushes him down onto the grass.  _ “Lie still,  _ **_my love_ ** _ …” _

__ Noctis does as he’s told and lays back flush with the dry grass, reaching up to keep Gladio from lying on top of him yet.  _ “Can I tell you something?” _

__ Gladio cocks his head and then sighs, hand sliding down to Noctis’s belly, making him arch slightly.

_ “I think you ought to hear it before we… before we do this,”  _ Noctis says softly, no measure of his voice even hinting at humor.

 Gladio steals a kiss, and Noctis moans in surprise.  _ “Go ahead… Say what you need to say, Noct.” _

__ Noctis cups Gladio’s face with both hands and gazes into his eyes.  _ “I love you. Have you ever known that?” _

_  “I have,”  _ Gladio says with a smile, soft and lovingly.  _ “And I’ve never doubted it.”  _ He unbuckles his belt, sliding his pants down to his knees. His cock springs up and stares Noctis down, but the king is adamant to keep his eyes locked with Gladio, even as he palms the head leaking with pre-cum. Gladio gives a low growl.

 He smirks up at him, but it’s a kind one, and not at all devious.  _ “I’m ready for you,”  _ Noctis tells him, and Gladio brings Noctis’s fingers up to kiss them.

_ “I’ll be gentle,”  _ the big man promises, undoing Noctis’s belt and the flap of his slacks, slipping them down and off of his legs till he’s completely naked. Every inch of him is still so beautiful, and Gladio considers the body of his king a blessing.

 He lifts both of Noctis’s legs up and cradles his rump in both of his big hands, tongue darting out to prod at his hole, leaving a trail of saliva to drip off of his thighs. Noctis shifts a bit to give him more ease of movement, the tenderness with which they both move now is unhindered and gentle, allowing one another to do as they must in preparation.

 Gladio makes a bold effort and pushes a little past the tight ring of muscle. Noctis arches out of his hold and lets out a cry, one of surprise and delight as his shield’s tongue creates wondrous sensations inside of him. It tickles some, and Gladio’s always known that it doesn’t take long to prepare Noctis for sex.

 Noctis is already so wet and willing.

 So, Gladio lets him down easily, spreading his knees to provide enough room for Noctis’s bottom to rest between as he gives himself a few strokes before lining his cock with Noctis’s hole. He’s so big, and just the mere touch of the leaking head of his member is all it takes to make Noctis whimper.

 Gladio enters with a single, gentle thrust, Noctis’s hands clenching around blades of grass and pulling on them, bottom lip nearly bruised as he tries to endure the pain. It’s no different from many other things he’s had to survive in order to enjoy all the happiness just waiting on the other side of tragedy and sorrow.

 Gladio glances down, notices his lover’s pained expression, and draws back a little, but Noctis hums loudly in disagreement, shaking his head as he meets the worry in his lover’s eyes.  _ “But, Noct, you’re-” _

_  “It’s okay,”  _ Noctis squeaks out.  _ “Just… keep going. Whatever you do-”  _ He gasps and throws his head back as Gladio continues to push forward.  _ “Don’t stop.” _

__ Gladio slows his progress minimally, feeling Noctis’s muscles start to expand and contract, giving him some room to relax. But he’s still immensely worried about the pain Noctis is facing because of  _ him _ .  _ “You can do it, Noct. Nice ‘n’ easy, baby…” _

__ Noctis grimaces, but means to smile at the praise and tender encouragement from his shield.  _ “Gods, I… forgot how amazing this feels…”  _ And then Gladio’s cock taps on his prostate, and he moans.  _ “Gladio, more! Please!” _

__ Always the one eager to please Noctis to the greatest extent, Gladio pounds against Noctis’s prostate over and over again, grunting in pain as Noctis rakes along his back with uneven nails. The blood he feels trickle down his sides is proof that Noctis has been just as desperate for closeness as he himself has.

 Noctis howls as he can feel the rhythm of their bodies jerk and tighten, all of his muscles clenching around Gladio’s body to the point where he’s beginning to lose his strength. He can’t keep up with Gladio for as long as he used to.  _ “Gladio,  _ **_please!_ ** _ I need… you!” _

__ Gladio thrusts forward once more and Noctis comes, streaking both of their nakedness in liquid white, arching higher with that pitiful whine he’d always let out during orgasm. It’s one of the sweetest things the older man missed hearing every night.

 But luckily, Noctis knows that; so as Gladio comes down from his high, the king throws in another one of his whiny moans just to rouse the increasing pleasurable release of his lover.

 It’s half voluntary, however; Noctis loves the feeling of Gladio coming inside him - filled to bursting with love and affection, his promises spoken without words.

 Soon after, they rest amid the flattened bed of grass, limbs entangled, bodies flush and gleaming with sweat, and lips meeting in lazy, euphoric kisses. Cheek pressed against the leanness of Noctis’s chest, Gladio is sure his lover would rather not speak of this rowdy, reckless, irresponsible, and very untimely yet almost ceremonial sex.

 He’s wrong - but, like always, he gets the ball rolling by opening his mouth first. He hasn’t pulled out yet, but dammit, Noctis feels so  _ good _ around him.

_ “How was it?” _

__ Noctis smiles, eyes closed. He throws his arms around Gladio.  _ “Wonderful,”  _ he purrs.  _ “One thing was missing, though…” _

_  “Yeah?”  _ He holds himself up.  _ “What?” _

_  “You didn’t bite me this time.” _

__ Gladio laughs heartily, and Noctis joins in soon after, both of them holding one another as they roll along the grass. The love they have for each other is as renewed and revered now as it was cherished - all those years ago.

 Then it’s quiet once more, and as Noctis falls asleep against the safe broadness that is Gladio’s torso, the shield whispers into the soft dark of Noctis’s hair…

_ “Goodnight, my love… and may you have the happiest of dreams. I love you.” _

 

__ ■

**_15 Years After the Dawn…_ **

 

**** Ignis warned him about this. He warned him to stay away, and to let Noctis alone for however long he needed to find himself again, because there was no celebration for Noctis’s miraculous return after 15 long years. No horns, no singing, no  _ nothing _ .

 The bed creaks as Gladio shifts on his aching knees. A cheap, rundown motel on the edge of nowhere was Gladio’s idea of quality time together with Noctis. Room dark as twilight dusk settles in, there’s nothing here to remind either of them of home. Even the curtains seem to mock them as a single drafty window lets a chill breeze sneak in. 

 There’s absolutely  _ nothing  _ here.

 Nothing but the sickeningly sweet stench of sex wafting into Gladio’s nostrils as he gently thrusts into Noctis’s pliant body. His king is limp, weak, and literally staring at the ceiling - his expression blank as he chews on his bottom lip.

 He wants to say something, but he stops himself. Speaking to Noctis was pointless unless he called his name, then the only response he got was two curious and highly oblivious blue eyes watching his. No words had left Noctis’s lips since he found him that night, alone in those cold, dark, unforgiving walls of the once-glorious Crown City.

 Gladio feels disgusting. He feels like he’s taking advantage of him, using him for his own pleasures and comforts. In a way, it’s true, but it’s not like he hadn’t tried. Something was very seriously wrong with Noctis - something irreparable, like he had lost his mind. Or it was taken away.

 His ears were closed off to Gladio’s words. The only sound he responded to was if he heard his own name, and Gladio was done trying to explain his intimate advances toward him. It felt useless; this wasn’t Noctis.

 Gladio had seen this kind of behavior before though. When his sister was about five did she refuse to listen to their father or anyone else for that matter. But Noctis is 30 years old, and an intelligent and sane young man, so why does he seem so…  _ helpless? _

 He’s angry. Gladio can’t shake the feeling that maybe this is punishment for turning his back on the gods for what they’d done to Noctis. The cruel fate they had subjected his lover to before he was even born.

 He needs to know why, and he needs to know why now, but he doesn’t care.

 He just doesn’t care anymore.

 He thrusts hard again and again, tears pricking at his eyes as he looks down at Noctis, who doesn’t have any clue what the hell is going on. He keeps going until he’s spent and spilling out into the body of the man he once knew and loved with a roar that rips through the air.

 It’s both frustrating and saddening in his own ears.

 He shuts his eyes tight, unwilling to open them again as he lays gently against Noctis, stroking his beautiful body with two giant hands that are now devoid of his lover once more.

 Gladio weeps for hours, and then his tears slow. He kisses the younger man’s cheek and backs away, leaving Noctis to whimper in that cold bedroom alone.

 He’s done. He can’t listen anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you*


End file.
